Editor’s note: This preview/spoiler-free review was intended to drop prior to seeing the film, but having an opportunity to see it early, I took it and will have more thoughts coming on our next podcast (CSP EPISODE 50!). If there are any spoiler elements or plot reveals, I have tried to omit or conceal them, but apologize in advance if you get spoiled. Grow up, it’s just a movie!
In 2009, just a couple of years after Hasbro put Transformers on live-action film, G.I. Joe finally made it to the big screen. To say it was long-awaited was an understatement… grown adults were excited to finally see a toy, comic book and cartoon franchise from our childhood finally hit the silver screen. What we got was The Rise of Cobra, one of the worst adaptations ever and more reason to think that Hollywood was purposely seeking to sabotage anything we enjoyed as children. Right after we were treated to The Eiffel Tower being corrupted by green slime and the slow progression of JGL from Duke’s girlfriend’s brother to Cobra Commander, a sequel was announced.
Originally set to release in 2012, G.I. Joe: Retaliation was announced with only some of the cast from the first film returning, a slew of additional characters and cast and new writers. All under the guiding hand of a new director who pretty much guaranteed a better movie. The Rock! Bruce Willis! The Rza! Inspectah Deck! (kidding). All set for June, right? Nope, not even a month sooner, Paramount pulled the plug on the film’s release, announcing a delay in order to convert to 3D and increase marketing in international markets (by the way… screw you, foreigners!).
So… after the same amount of time it takes to carry and deliver an infant, we finally get the long-awaited, long-delayed and much maligned G.I. Joe: Retaliation to hit theaters. Why go see this movie? I’ll tell you why…
1. Better title, better plot, and… Cobra wins!
I had several problems with G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, from Cobra Commander’s origin to how Duke as linked to The Baroness and much in between, but the one thing that got under my skin more than everything was THE STUPID TITLE! Read the rest of this entry